Publications

Q: I started a new job a few months ago and it’s super high stress. This, plus some intense stuff going on with my family, has made me feel way more stressed out than usual. At the same time, I’m feeling out of whack physically — I’ve already gotten two yeast infections and my period has gotten irregular. I’m guessing these symptoms could be tied to my new stressed life. Is that possible? What else should I be worried about stress doing to my body?

I’m what many people call ethically non-monogamous, which means I have agreements with everyone with whom I’m romantically involved that they are not the only person in my life in a sexual sense, and vice versa. Put another way, I take many lovers. (Which I’m pleased sounds like something your fabulous grandmother who lives in LA with a boyfriend half her age might say.)

Q: I went to my annual exam earlier this week and during the breast examination my doctor told me I have fibrocystic breast tissue. She said it’s why my breasts feel lumpy, which I totally hadn’t noticed — they feel pretty much the same to me but I guess I’m not feeling them all the time? Anyway, she said it’s not dangerous but that I should keep an eye on it. Which kinda freaked me out because if it’s not dangerous why do I have to pay attention to it? So basically I’m asking: what does this mean for my health? Should I be worried? Can I fix it?

Q: I started sleeping with a new guy a few weeks ago and he said he’d gotten tested recently and didn’t have anything. I trusted him at the time, but now I’m not so sure because I just noticed some weird sores in my privates. I’m wondering how to know if what I’m feeling is an STD or something else. I started Google image searching “STD blister” and got super freaked out pretty quickly. I just wanna know if I should be going to the doctor or if this is definitely something unrelated that will go away on its own. Are there symptoms that are just for STDs? And how do you know when you should get tested?

I’m a classic social introvert, which means that while I really enjoy being around people, I recharge my internal battery (metaphorical, I’m not a robot!) by being alone — preferably snuggled in my bed watching some sci-fi or reading some good literature. I’m also ethically non-monogamous, which means I date multiple people and all the people I date know there are other people I’m also dating.

Q: I got a hormonal IUD placed two months ago and was super excited about it. I mean, super effective hormonal birth control I only have to think about every ten years? Thank you, modern medicine! And it wasn’t even that intense going in. I got some cramps for a couple days after and that was it! But now I’m feeling kinda off — I’m getting cramping between my periods and it hurts when I have sex, which has never happened to me before. Could something be wrong? Like, could my IUD have moved or could it be infected? Should I go and see my doctor? And until then, should I stop having sex — maybe I’m not safe?

Q: This is kinda embarrassing, but my nipples recently started to leak. I’m not talking full-on milk or something — it’s more like I notice it on my bra, but it’s definitely there and it’s super stressful. I’m always worried it’s going to leak through my shirt. I’ve started wearing bandaids over my nipples whenever I go out, which is uncomfortable and clearly isn’t solving anything. Is there anything I can do about this? Also, could nipples leaking be a sign of a health problem?

Q: My period started being irregular this year. Like, one month my cycle will be 26 days long, but then the next month it will be 40, the next 35, etcetera. I know that there are some reasons why irregular periods signal unhealthy things or the obvious (pregnancy), but I feel like this is just the way I am right now. I feel otherwise pretty healthy. Is there anything I should be worried about if my period is always kind of irregular?

Q: I woke up yesterday morning and noticed that my vagina felt … swollen. Like, not swollen shut or anything, but just tender and maybe puffy? I can’t really tell but it feels off. I had sex a couple days ago but it wasn’t super rough or anything out of the ordinary, and I didn’t notice anything right after so I don’t think it was my body reacting to that. But now I’m starting to worry because the feeling’s not going away. Are there any STDs that have this side effect?

Q: I have a question about safety and oral sex. I love giving going down on both men and women (I’m bi) but I don’t know how safe oral sex is STD-wise. I’ve heard all this different information — some people say you can’t get anything really from oral sex, while other people are telling me I should be using condoms or dental dams every time. That sounds like a lot of work, so which is it — and how big is the STD risk if I have unprotected oral sex?