Publications

With the virtual OHBM meeting just around the corner, we simply can’t ignore the reason why we’re holding a virtual conference in the first place, along with the shift in productivity, coping adaptations, and mental health states that we have all experienced in recent times. I had the pleasure of sitting down virtually with Emma Kaywin, a conflict mediator and sexual health educator in New York City, who shared her expertise on trauma counseling and its links with the broad spectrum of challenges we have had to face in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and amplified by recent civil unrest.

Q: I just start having sex a year ago. I really like it — but sex with men is so messy! I’ve been taking a shower immediately after sex and scrubbing my vulva and inside my vagina to get rid of the mess down there, but my friends say I’m a clean freak and I don’t need to do that. Do I need to clean up my vagina after sex, and if so, how?

A talk as part of YES Talks at House of Yes.

No Scrubs:
A Community Discussion on Consent:
DubDay NYC 5/1 at TransPecos
Mediated by Sex and Consent Educator: Emma Kaywin

I’m a sexual person. I’m also a person living with endometriosis, and the confluence of these identities has caused something of a conflict, to put it mildly.

Recently, I was groped on the subway staircase. A man stumbled up to me and put his entire palm on my skirt, right above my pelvic bone. I turned after him and yelled, “Are you f**king kidding me?” (eloquent, I know) and off we both went, me struggling not to pass out from my stress reaction and him, I don’t know, likely not thinking about it ever again.

Q: How can I tell if my boyfriend has HPV? I know that there are different strains of the virus, because my gyno told me that some give you genital warts and other types can give you cancer — this is why I get Pap smears every few years.

Q: I get pretty bad PMS symptoms, and I want to find a way to ease my crankiness, bloating, and cramps but I don’t like taking lots of pills. Are there certain foods that can help with PMS symptoms? Sometimes I’ve found that a glass of red wine helps, but maybe that’s just placebo, and an ex said he read something about dark chocolate helping and used to bring me bars of chocolate when I wasn’t feeling great — but that could have just been a cute thing he did, I never saw the research.

I have an immense capacity for concentration — it’s like I have whatever the opposite of ADHD is. Sit me down in front of a computer with a pile of something to write or data to input (and some dope tunes) and I’ll barrel through from dusk ‘till dawn without so much as looking up. I know, I kind of hate me too.

Q: I have oral herpes — not genital. I haven’t gotten a cold sore in a while because whenever I feel a tingle I take Valtrex, the medicine that fights herpes. I’m just concerned because it feels like every time I drink even a little or don’t sleep a ton, I feel a tingle in the same spot. I take Valtrex and it goes away. Does this mean I’m allergic to alcohol or my immune system is weak? Should I be taking Valtrex every day? Is it possible for me to pass oral herpes to other people if the virus is dormant and I don’t have an actual sore, just the tingle? Is there any risk to taking Valtrex every day/could I build a tolerance to it?