Sexually Transmitted Infections

Q: I’m newly single and loving it! However, I must confess I’m a bit rusty on how to protect myself from STDs. I was monogamous with my ex for five years and I’m on the pill, so after we got tested we stopped using condoms. Now I’m free and on the prowl, but I want to make sure I’m taking care of myself. Yes, I know I should use condoms, but if I’m hooking up with different people, is there anything else I should be doing to protect myself from STDs? I want to have fun but I don’t want to end up with baby or a disease!

Q: I’m freaking out. My partner of eight years and I just went to get tested together, and he came back positive for HIV and I came out negative. I don’t even know how we could have different statuses because I’m on the pill and we haven’t been using condoms in almost a year, but I’m really relieved I don’t have it. I love him so much, I don’t even care right now that he cheated on me and got this lifelong disease. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t know how to help him or protect myself. What can I do? Will I definitely get it?

Q: My friend says that she checks out the private parts of anyone she’s going to sleep with to make sure they don’t have any diseases. Is that something you can do to tell if someone has anything? Does it actually work? And which STDs can you see — all of them, or are some invisible? I’m also nervous about all the STDs you can catch just from skin-to-skin contact, even if you use a condom.

Q: The other day, my friend was telling me about an STD I’d never even heard of — trichomoniasis. Ah! I have lots of questions about trichomoniasis. Is it only transmitted sexually? Why is it never mentioned with the usual STDs? What are the consequences for vaginal health?

Q: I recently started seeing this new guy who I’m really excited about. He’s poly, which is new for me, but I’m digging the freedom it’s giving me to explore multiple lovers at once without feeling guilty. But my question is, when you’re sleeping with more than one person, how do you stay safe? I’m on the pill, and in the past I’ve stopped using condoms with people once I develop strong feelings for them and we both get tested, but when you’re dealing with multiple people it seems absurdly complicated. I really like condom-free sex with people I love, is this something I can’t have if I’m not monogamous?

Q: I just started seeing this guy a few weeks ago, and last time I saw him he had what seemed very much like what I can only assume is a cold sore on his lip. It’s weird that he didn’t tell me he had it, maybe it’s because he doesn’t think it’s a big deal? But if he kisses me, I can get it too, right? What about sharing drinks? And what if he goes down on me? If I already caught oral herpes from him does that mean I can get herpes on my vagina? If I get it, what will it be like for me?

Q: People are always telling me that I’m lucky because lesbians can’t get sexually transmitted diseases, but I feel like that’s definitely not true. However, I’m kinda unclear about what I CAN get, and how I can get it. Like, how risky is oral sex (receiving and giving) without a dental dam? And what about if I finger someone and then end up touching myself later on while we’re having sex? Basically, what STDs am I at risk for when having sex with women, and how do I protect myself (and my lovers)?

Q: I was just diagnosed with genital herpes . I’m freaking out because all I know about this infection is that I can’t ever get rid of it, and I feel super unclean. When my doctor told me I’d tested positive, I felt like vomiting and bursting into tears at the same time. What’s going to happen to me — is my health going to be impacted? And what about dating? Will anyone ever love me if I have herpes again?

Q: I was diagnosed with genital herpes last year. Now I’m a college student and am trying to navigate hook up culture etiquette combined with herpes etiquette. I’ve had a few hookups that ended up back in someone’s room, but because of my STD, didn’t lead to sex. Is there a way to tell someone “No, sorry, I can’t sleep with you” without explaining why? And of I do want to tell someone, how do I go about doing that?

Q: I’m embarrassed to say this, but I get yeast infections a lot. Like …. a lot a lot. I guess I’m just out of balance. I often don’t even tell my boyfriend when I’m dealing with one because I’m taking care of it and I don’t really think it’s any of his business (and I’d be telling him like every month). But lately I’ve been thinking, can I give a yeast infection to him? How can I be ensuring that we’re both healthy? How do I know we aren’t giving it back and forth to each other?